How to Deepen Your Authenticity with Your Beloved

How to Deepen Your Authenticity with Your Beloved

Wed, 06/16/2010 - 02:50 |

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When you are completely authentic with your partner, and share your truth, you open up the energetic flow between your hearts. As a result there is deeper intimacy, communion, and connection on all levels. On the other hand, each time you don’t speak your truth about something or share what is in your heart, an energetic brick is placed between your two hearts. As this wall of energetic bricks build, the level of connection and trust between you and your partner declines until one of you may decide that you no longer love or trust the other one. Yes, lack of authenticity can literally kill a relationship, and rob it of all of its juiciness.

Many people on some level believe that we can get away with occasional white lies, or small withholdings. We mistakenly think that our partner will never know that we are not completely being authentic. The thing is that your beloved can sense on an energetic level if you are being completely honest, real, and vulnerable. They know when you are holding something back, or not being completely real with them even if they do not know exactly what you are hiding. You simply cannot get away with being inauthentic.

The power of authenticity is astounding. When you open your heart and you are real with your partner, a huge shift occurs. Authenticity is the gateway to true intimacy. When you are real, your beloved can truly see who you are, and thus a deep sense of connection can be created. Your beloved wants to see the real you, not some mirage or image that you are trying to project. The juicy yummy feelings in relationship happen when both you and your partner open up and expose your true selves. When your partner exposes his or her under belly, it makes you feel safe to do the same. This allows both of you to take down your armor and shielding, and show who you truly are.

It’s time to take a good hard look inside and ask yourself, “Where do I have an opportunity to be more authentic with my partner? Where have I been withholding or not truly expressing myself?” Here are three simple steps you can take to increase the amount of authenticity in your relationships with your beloved.

1. Face Your Fear
What are you afraid could happen if you were completely real and vulnerable with your beloved? One of the most common fears is fear of rejection. I’ve felt this fear many times when faced with an authentic communication moment. I remember one day having lunch with a dear friend of mine who I was very attracted to. For months, I had been wanting to tell him how attracted I was to him, and how much I adored him, yet fear of rejection had always held me back. On this day, I faced the fear. I felt the pounding in my chest, the butterflies in my stomach and told myself that it was simply fear, nothing more and nothing less. Then, I went ahead and told him how I was feeling. He said that he was very flattered, yet simply wanting to have a friendship with me. We remain close friends to this day.

Ask yourself, what’s really the worse thing that could happen if I were real? Now, remember that the mind can make up all sorts of crazy stories. With each story it creates, ask yourself, “What’s truly the possibility of this happening?” Most of the time the possibility of your fear coming true is very, very, very small indeed. Then, ask yourself, “If this did happen, would I be ok?” This question helps you realign with the truth, that you will are going to be Ok and are much stronger than you imagine.

2. Focus on the Gain
Instead of focusing on how scary it can be to be real, shift your energy to what you are going to gain by being so vulnerable. Increased authenticity with your beloved can give you a multitude of gifts. It can give you what you are so desperately seeking, increased intimacy and love. The more real you are, the more you open up your heart and soul to your beloved. The more authentic you are, the more you can trust that your partner truly loves you because they are seeing the real you. So remember that opening the doorway of authenticity is the key to creating what you really want with your beloved.

3. Speak from Your Heart
One of the biggest traps with authenticity is pretending that you being authentic means saying anything you please without regard for your partner. Being authentic is not about emptying your emotional garbage on your partner, or blaming them for how you are feeling, it’s about sharing what is in your heart in an honoring and loving way. The easiest way of doing this is to align yourself with the vibration of love before you start to speak. Focus on how much you do love your partner, and then share from this place of love. Speak with love in your voice and they will feel this love going deeply into their being. Another important tip is to remember to speak from your perspective and to avoid any kind of blame. Always share how you are feeling, and what you need instead of telling the other person to change literally or energetically.

Remember that the rewards for being authentic are vast. It’s worth facing and feeling some fear to experience increased intimacy and connection with your beloved. As you become more authentic, your partner will reflect back to you the same level of authenticity, building a deep trusting intimate bond.

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